December 2011
consecratio:
if it wasnt for urban dictionary, i wouldnt know half of what you guys are taking about
Why you should never drunk text a Whovian.
A friend of mine randomly got a drunk text from a stranger. She then did something that has earned my respect and awe. A transcript of her conversation follows. Some of this may be familiar to you.
Warning: VERY LONG. Also, words that I don't like have been bleeped out. Use your imagination.
[Transcript] Drunk Person: "tortyly drunk riht now. straight men everwhere."
Erykah: "Oh, thank God! I finally made contact! Listen, I need your help, but you're in great danger."
DP: "ni**a say wat?"
E: "Listen, my name's the Doctor. I'm a time traveler, or I was. I'm stuck in 1969 with my friend and I need your help to get my spaceship back."
DP: "u hav a spceshit?"
E: "Yes. It's a big blue box that says 'Police Call Box' on it."
DP: "dat doesnt sound liek a spceshp. gay."
E: "Hey! Don't diss the TARDIS!"
DP: "tarsiddd???"
E: "No. TARDIS. Time And Relative Dimension In Space. You see, I'm a Time Lord from ANOTHER planet called Gallifrey."
DP: "y u not there now?"
E: "Well...A long time ago, there was a war and all my people died except for me. I'm the last Time Lord. So I travel through time and space lending a hand wherever I can."
DP: "woahhhh. thats relly sad."
E: "Yes, it is. But now is no time to cry. You're in a lot of danger and you need to help me."
DP: "waot. how r u in 1996?"
E: "I'm in 1969. And it's really complicated."
DP: "oh."
E: "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff."
DP: "im cofussed."
E: "Well, try and keep up! Never mind the wibbly stuff. All that matters is that they've taken it! The angels have the phone box."
DP: "wut angels?"
E: "Have you ever seen like a statue of an angel? At a church or a cemetary or something?"
DP: "ya."
E: "Well, they're not angels. They're creatures from another worlds. Aliens like me, except they're very, very bad."
DP: "dat maeks sense. they alwys creepeed me out. i thought theyre jus statues tho."
E: "Good eye, you've got. But they're not. They're only statues when you're looking directly at them. Once you look away, they become deadly."
DP: "whaaa?"
E: "Listen, Lonely assassins, they were called. No-one knows where they came from. They're as old as the universe, or very nearly. They've survived this long as they have the most perfect defence system ever evolved. They are quantum-locked. They don't exist when being observed. The moment they're seen by any other living creature they freeze into rock. No choice. It's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing, they literally turn to stone. And you can't kill a stone. Course, a stone can't kill you either. But then you turn your head away, then you blink, and oh, yes it can! Notice how they always look like they're crying in the cemetaries? They're always covering their eyes?"
DP: "dats nuts! ya, ive seen dat."
E: "There's a reason for that. They're not weeping, they can't risk looking at each other. Their greatest asset is their greatest curse. They can never be seen. The loneliest creatures in the universe. And I'm sorry, I am very, very sorry, it's up to you now.
DP: "but wut can i do? tis was all thrustted uopn me!"
E: "The blue box, it's my time machine. There is a world of time energy in there they could feast on forever. The damage they can do can switch off the sun. You have got to send it back to me!"
DP: "ahhhhhh!!! im scrrd! idk wut 2 do! im srsly gon hav a pnic attck."
E: I'm afraid I can't help you any further. I'm stuck in 1969, but I think you're clever enough to think of something. FIND THE BLUE BOX AND GET IT BACK TO ME! The angels have it and you NEED to find it or it's all going to be over."
DP: "dont go doctr! help me!11211!!"
E: "They're coming. The angels are coming for you. But listen, your life could depend on this. Don't blink! Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink! Good luck!"
DP: "ik! angels hng out in gravyards rite? ill check thar 1st."
E: "Wherever you feel the need to look. I have no idea because I'm trapped 42 years in the past. Wherever you do go, just remember DON'T BLINK."
DP: "omfg. holy shit. i'll find teh box and teh angels and ill text u wen i find it. goodbi doctr. uve liked changgged me life."
[/Transcript]
kinnetics:
do you ever get so platonically infatuated with someone that you just want to shower them with love and never stop but you’re afraid they’ll think you’re creepy and secretly start to judge you and no ssh stop all i want to do is love you
me: who wants to kiss me at midnight on new years
everyone:
harrytomlomsom:
❑ Single ❑ Taken ✔ Unaware that those are literally the only options available.
tveits:
does you know who i be
does you listen to music
do you watch tv
DO YOU CARRY A LUNCH BOX
asariprincess:
i don’t get why so many people on tumblr hate wearing clothes? pants in particular
i love wearing clothes
wearing clothes is great it makes you look cuter and it’s comforting
Yeah this. Also I prefer wearing jeans to wearing pajamas or sweat pants.
vondell-swain:
futuresushi:
I hate that sitcoms and romantic comedies have completely co-opted “I love you” as a UNIVERSALLY POWERFUL STATEMENT that you have to like… build up to
I think that is one of the stupidest fucking things because when I was with Caitlin I had people asking me “have you said I Love You” yet like literally with all the words capitalized like it was the most most...
vondell-swain:
New this summer on ABC Family:
Lucy Brighton is just an average 16-year-old girl with average 16-year-old girl problems; getting good grades at school, finding the perfect things to wear, and, of course… boys! But she has a crazy secret life that her classmates don’t know about, and she has to make sure the popular girls don’t find out because they’d tell everyone!!
stay tuned...
I'm taking drawing commissions.
watsoniananatomy:
I’m hitting a solid wall regarding money because I’m having to spend an unbelievable amount regarding private psychiatrist appointments. I’m selling things I own that I never imagined I’d part with, and I’m basically going to be living on a very small amount of food soon.
I thought maybe, even though I’m not that great an artist, I’d really like to just… create, for people. I...
I like being alone.
I like drinking coffee alone, and reading alone.
I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone.
It gives me time to think, and set my mind free.
I like eating alone, and listening to music alone.
But when I see a mother with her child;
A girl with her lover;
Or a friend laughing with their best friend;
I realize that even though I like being alone
I don’t fancy being lonely.
Remember last Christmas, when I had the house to myself?
That was fantastic.
fffcuk:
why are girls like “oh it’s december i need a boyfriend to keep me warm” no you can buy a coat like the rest of the single people
2 tags
isawbearwavekissingsantaclaus:
i call everyone babe and sweetie and honey because it feels good to use those words